Monday, May 30, 2011

Surprise!

Hem hem hem hem hem...

I'M GOIN' TO DISNEYLAND!!!!!!!!!!!

I really don't think I can adequately express to you my intense excitement right now. Even with caps lock and excessive exclamation marks. You have to understand that I'm a little bit of a Disneyland fanatic. I LOVE Disneyland. I've read the Wikipedia pages for just about every ride (carefully skipping the "how it works" parts so as not to spoil the magic) even though I haven't been since I was eight. This is a BIG DEAL.

THE SETUP:
One of my great loves, as you might know, is the Muppets. So when we went to see Pirates 4 (which was surprisingly decent, by the way) and a commercial came on for the new Muppets movie... I was a little excited. No, I was ridiculously excited. You need to know that.
Anyway, I come downstairs this morning and Dad's like, "I found a new commercial for the Muppets movie... wanna see it?" Well duh! So I sit through the first little bit or so... it's the same trailer. But Dad says, "No it's not." (Oh my goodness, this is horrible writing. I'm sorry. I'm too excited right now to write coherently. Forgive me.) About halfway through the screen flashes "This isn't really about the new Muppets movie." I was lost. No clue what's going on. Then at the end, it said, "We're going to Disneyland!"
Still lost. All of you who think I'm smart, think again. Not until about two seconds after it was over did I realize that WE are going to Disneyland, not the Muppets.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (That's about what I sounded like, too. Along with a lot of "What? Really? WHAT? REALLY?")

We have a six-day (yes, SIX DAYS IN DISNEYLAND) park hopper pass between Magic Kingdom and California Adventure (home of one of the coolest rides of all time, Soarin' over California). One day we get into the park an hour before it opens to get to all the rides that would otherwise be crowded. We're also road-tripping, a feat we haven't attempted in... a really long time. I don't know how long ago that was. I am stoked. I am so stoked. This is gonna be so much fun!!!!!!

My brother is beyond excited because just days before we arrive, the newly revamped STAR TOURS will have opened. The kid is a Star Wars nut and he's been talking about it for ages. The last time we went he was about three, so I'm super excited for him to actually be able to remember this trip.

I'm excited for me, too-- I still have all my childlike wonder, but not nearly so much childlike fear. Or childlike height restrictions. Haha! I'm just as excited to go on the Peter Pan ride as I was when I was eight, but now I'm not scared to go on the Haunted Mansion anymore! And I'm tall enough to go on the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror! (No comment on the fear factor there.) I might even get my senior pictures taken IN DISNEYLAND... how stinkin' cool is that? To list everything I'm excited about would take pages and pages to tell, so I'll leave it at this...

I'M GOIN' TO DISNEYLAND!

Here's to the happiest place on earth!



<3

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Stargazing

I have to wonder
If I were to explode
In a supernova
Would the disturbance
Shake the earth
Or would
My light go on shining
For a myriad millenia
Thousands of lightyears away?

~~~~~~~~~~

I wrote this. I got the idea in Physics today when we were talking about how light from the stars takes so long to get all the way to us thousands of lightyears away that for all we know none of the stars we're gazing up at are actually there anymore or not. For all we know they've exploded. We just won't know about it until the light from their dying breath gets to us. I guess you could look at it two ways (the poem, I mean): it's either about leaving a legacy or about nobody even noticing you were gone if you were to disappear. I like leaving a legacy. It's happier. :)

Enjoy your day. Metaphors be with you.

<3

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Let Me Live

"I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." -John 10:10

"I wanted to live deep and suck all the marrow out of life, to put to rout all that which was not life, and not when I had come to die discover that I had not lived." -Henry David Thoreau

Is it cliche to say that I have a whole new lease on life?

To recap and explain everything that has happened in the last month would be quite the undertaking, so I'm not going to try. By all rights, for reasons I won't take the time to explain here, it really should have been a rough month, and at times it has been. But overall I'm filled with this overwhelming happiness and excitement. It would make a lot of sense for me to be broken up... but I'm not. I'm probably the most content I've ever been in my life.

I want to go to Heaven. I want to go to Heaven so bad. That's the most important thing. I've got to learn to cling to the things and people that are going to get me to Heaven and run far away from the things that are pulling me the other direction.

I also have to learn that I can live on the way there. In John 10:10 Jesus wasn't talking about eternal life. He was talking about this life. Christians have the ability to have the most abundant lives possible.

So you know what? I want to live.

I want to fill my days up with people and things that make me love God even more than I did previously. I want to use my talents to His glory in the greatest way I possibly can. I want to dig into God's Word so much my head spins from how amazing it all is. I want praying to come as naturally as breathing to me. I want to be so close to God that His will is my will, no matter where that will takes me.

I want to write. Oh man, I want to write. I want to write articles. I want to write books. I want to write blog posts. I want to write poetry just to get things out of my system. I want to start the second Renaissance with Jenna. I want to read good books and understand what they're saying.

I want to sing. I stinkin' love to sing, you know that? I want to dance around my room when no one is watching just because it feels good. I want to listen to the music that makes my heart soar. I want to go walking around in the rain and feel the water dance across my skin. I want to hear thunder rolling and see lightning crash and marvel at how incredible this world is and how awesome my God is.

I want to reach for the sky, not for the ceiling. I don't want limits unless they're the limits God has placed in my life through His word and my desire to get to Heaven. I want to lay aside every encumbrance that entangles me and GET THERE.

More than anything I want to NOT WANT WHAT I WANT! I want to want what He wants, because what more could I want?

So... I want to live this summer. And I'm going to.

<3

Friday, April 8, 2011

Annoying List Post #8

Hello, friends. You know the drill.

COOL GOD THOUGHTS:
-I've been studying Proverbs for the past week, and may I just say, it's awesome. I love the Bible. It's so awesome. :)
Anyways, the keywords I've found so far are "wisdom", "wicked", "righteous", "life", "understanding", "mouth", "LORD" (SEVENTY TIMES!!), "heart", "fool", and "knowledge". I haven't really determined a key verse... The way the book is structured I'm not sure there is one. However, there's a HUGE concentration of keywords all throughout Chapter 10. So I'm thinking that's significant.
-So I don't know why, but I never thought to ask God for help on tests. I feel like that should have crossed my mind before this week, but it really didn't. But I had a physics test I was worried about, so I prayed about it right before I took it. It's not even that I did a ton better than I normally do (got a B... not bad, but I kinda wanted better), but I wasn't nearly as stressed out while I was taking the test. Which is just oddly comforting to me.
-I've been thinking a lot lately about how it doesn't really matter what people think of you, even if they think good things about you. If everyone thinks you're really faithful or you're doing better than so-and-so or whatever, God judges you by the Book, not by other people. Something to think about.

RANDOM OCCURENCES:
-My bestie Holly is dating a boy. Ah! It's kinda surreal. The best part for me, however, is that I got pink cookies out of it. You know the ones from King Soopers? The delicious ones that are a hundred calories a piece? Yeah. Those cookies. I kinda bet her that they'd be together by the end of the school year... she gets a boy and I get cookies. Win win. :) :)
-Well, first week back... not as bad as expected, but I miss break! Two tests, two quizzes, and a four page paper due on Monday. (Well, I knew about the paper over break... but I didn't know it was due on Monday. Eh. It's a report. Not an essay, a report. We don't have to argue anything. I'm not sure I remember how to not argue anything in a paper.)
-Two days ago marked one month until my AP History test, and tomorrow marks one month until AP Physics... AAAHHHH!! Nah, it'll be okay. I'll survive.
-We put more music on my brother's iPod... he now likes the Beatles and the Avett Brothers. Ahahaha! I had already converted him to Paramore long ago. The boy is well-rounded like his sister. :)
-We read an excellent poem in English. And I'm going to post it now. :)

"George Gray" by Edgar Lee Masters
I have studied many times
The marble which was chiseled for me --
A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor.
In truth it pictures not my destination
But my life.
For love was offered me and I shrank from its disillusionment;
Sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid;
Ambition called to me, but I dreaded the chances.
Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life.
And now I know that we must lift the sail
And catch the winds of destiny
Wherever they drive the boat.
To put meaning in one's life may end in madness,
But life without meaning is the torture
Of restlessness and vague desire --
It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid.


Isn't that beautiful? I think so. In a tragic sort of way. But still beautiful. Taking risks is hard, but if you don't you'll never truly live.

THE LATEST TRAVESTIES:
-They finally cast Peeta and Gale in the Hunger Games movie... they're going to be Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth, respectively. The annoying kid from Bridge to Terabithia is playing my FAVORITE CHARACTER, and the male lead from the Miley Cyrus Nicholas Sparks movie is playing the tough guy. AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH! This is right up there with Anne Hathaway being Catwoman. Right up there.
-Donald Trump is running for President. BA to the HA to the HA. Really? How humiliating would it be to say that Donald Trump was our president? I couldn't take him seriously! I mean he gets up for State of the Union and goes, "Members of the Congress... you're fired. You're all fired!" Hehehe. It's so hilariously laughable.

AND AN EXCITEMENT...
I'm really, extremely, massively, wildly, heart-about-to-beat-out-of-my-chest excited to go see the Avett Brothers three months from tomorrow.
Really.
I'm not actually going to post videos, because I would have to post way too many. But I'm going to start listing songs now.
Songs I will be devastated if they don't play:
-Living of Love (haha... like you needed me to tell you that)
-Paranoia in B Major (I adore this song live. It's lovely.)
-The Ballad of Love and Hate (Again... love it live)
-Standing with You (This isn't even on an album! I've only ever seen it on YouTube! They have lots of songs that aren't on albums, apparently, but this is my favorite.)
-Colorshow
-Pretty Girl at the Airport (this is old enough that I don't know that they'll play it... but I really hope they do, because it's stinkin' gorgeous.)
-All My Mistakes
-At the Beach (okay, here's my story about At the Beach... we were at Myrtle Beach in South Carolina for Fourth of July when I was eleven or so. You can buy, like, ANY kind of fireworks there. It was crazy. All the way down the beach as far as you could see in either direction all you could see was fireworks lighting up the sky. "Midnight at the shoreline, fireworks above us, they are screaming blue"... So yeah. That's why I love that song. Not sure why they would play it in a land-locked state, but you never know. Girl can dream.)
-St. Joseph's
-November Blue
-Anything Bob Crawford. I just love Bob Crawford songs.

There are several more that I love and hope they play... but I don't have the time or memory capacity to list them all. Whatever they play, though, I'll be happy. Twenty-some rows away from the Avett Brothers. I'm going to implode from excitement. The only one they really have to play for me is Living of Love. They really do have to play that one.

Allllright, loverlies. That's all I got. Thanks for listening to me ramble about nothing in particular. I just like clearin' out my brain, you know?

Much love.

<3

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Chapter 12

I always forget about this, but I thought of it tonight, so here's another chapter! Sorry it's so slow coming. Here's Chapter 10 and Chapter 11 once again if you need to catch up. Much love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They took her back into the blinding light and into a white room. The walls reflected the bright light frighteningly well, sending daggers of perception into her squinting eyes. There were no windows. The only thing even remotely distinct about the room was a bed in the left corner directly in front of her. The guards released her and she went to sit down on it, grasping its metal railing for balance. The mattress was incredibly thin, and only one threadbare sheet clung to it like some sort of overgrown cobweb. So much for treating your prisoners well, she thought.
As if reading her mind, one of the guards took off his cap and held it to his heart, revealing blue eyes that were kinder than she had expected. “If you want another blanket, or anything, ma’am, you just let us know.” Puzzled, she nodded. He and his friend gave her weak smiles as they left the room, closing the door behind them.
The walls, floor, and ceiling were all padded with some sort of soft material. Patrick had said the place had been an airport; she would have just as easily believed it was an insane asylum. Of course, she had never seen an insane asylum—they had been done away with when she was only three years old. Coltrane Thornton had told her what they were like…
The unpleasant, unsettling thought entered her head. Who had killed Coltrane Thornton? Could it have been a man in this very building? She reflected on the boy who had once been her neighbor, the round-faced boy with tousled black hair and excited eyes. He had always loved life, even if the life he lived was mostly made up. He had been a trickster, a liar, a joker… but he didn’t deserve to die. Nana hadn’t deserved to die. Mom and Baylor hadn’t deserved to die. Nobody should have died in this ridiculous war. She imagined Coltrane lying on some battlefield, bleeding his life out onto the dirt beneath his body…
She pulled her knees up from the side of the bed and hugged them to her chest, tried to squeeze out the emotional nausea that had filled the pit of her stomach. She was both drained of happiness and filled with despair and contempt, both empty and full at the same time. She unfolded herself and laid her head on the thin pillow.
She found it horribly ironic that the only person in the world she wanted to talk to could very well have been Coltrane’s killer. She wondered if Patrick was okay, hoping she hadn’t gotten him into any trouble. He’d been through enough trouble for her already.
As she hugged her arms around herself, she felt her own cold hand on the bare skin of her shoulder. The entire sleeve of her shirt had ripped off completely by this time. Hadn’t the Sergeant mentioned something about a change of clothes? She got up slowly, crouching on her knees to peer under the bed. She felt like she was being punched in the gut as she took the Memorist uniform in her hands. What kind of sick joke was this, making a prisoner of war wear the enemy uniform? She wadded up the clothes and threw them angrily in a corner. Just as well, she thought. She was probably under surveillance anyway. She stood again and kicked the rubbery wall in frustration—the action almost caused her to lose her balance. She screamed a very exasperated scream, but she was sure it hadn’t reached anyone’s ears. She had gone from sadness to anger over the span of a few seconds. Maybe the walls were rubber because the POWs eventually went insane…
They might as well have killed her. At this point in Piper Conrad’s life, nothing, nothing at all, was worse than being completely alone.
She wasn’t sure what time it was, but she assumed it was time to go to sleep when the lights clicked off, plunging her from the brightness of the afternoon into midnight in an instant. For a moment she was afraid she had gone blind; she couldn’t even see her hand in front of her face.
“Lincoln,” she said aloud. Without explanation the cat reentered her mind. He hadn’t even come into the base with them, had he? The poor thing was probably out in the cold all alone…
“Really, Piper? You’re in a Backwinder prison and you’re worried about a stupid cat?” She was talking to herself. Wasn’t that the first sign of madness? She’d only been in here a few hours, and she was already losing her mind.
She blinked, unable to differentiate the black of her closed eyes from the black of the room. She felt as though lead weights were tied to her eyelashes, weighing her lids down. Slowly but surely, sleep won the battle over confusion and emotion.
Piper was surrounded by fire. It was everywhere around her, above and beneath, as though she had been placed in a room made of it. She could see through the flames to the other side, where she heard her cat meowing mournfully at her. She could hear Mom screaming, but she couldn’t see her. Baylor, however, was straight in front of her, the firelight dancing across his face. Coltrane Thornton was holding his hand.
“Sissy!” he said, and both of them began running through the fire toward her. She tried to tell them no, she was screaming her lungs out at them, but they couldn’t hear her…
And Patrick was laughing, his brown eyes twisted and demented in the flame.
Coltrane and Baylor broke through the flames to her side, but they were only eerie skeletons, their flesh eaten alive by the fire.
Then the lights blared on, and she was safe in the white room again, alone with her sorrows and fears.
Just as her eyes sprung open, the door did as well. She jumped in shock as one of the guards, the one who had taken off his hat, walked in carrying a tray. On it was a bowl of fruit and a slightly burnt piece of toast. She couldn’t help thinking that this wasn’t too bad a deal: she had more of a bed than she’d had on the run with Patrick, and from the looks of it she was eating better too. If she could only keep this up, if she could see another human face three times a day, she could stay sane. She could survive this.
“There you are, ma’am,” he said, placing the tray carefully in her hands and turning toward the door. He talked with the same accent as Trey had.
“I’m not a ma’am,” she said, trying to persuade him to stay. She didn’t want to be alone so fast again. “I’m just Piper. You know, though, you’re the second person to call me that since I got here.”
He laughed. “This is the South, and we haven’t seen any girls for months. You’re a ma’am. But if it upsets you, I’ll quit it.”
“The South? What do you mean?”
“The Southern United States. Or at least it used to be. I don’t s’pose you ever heard of that, huh?” Piper shook her head eagerly. “Nah, I didn’t figure. Even some of our people haven’t. See, most of us left the cities to come here, but some of us hid out underground when the United States fell.”
“What’s the United States?”
“It was a big country, kinda like the Nation but not as strict. Little bit smaller too. But it was the most powerful country in the world. But it got nuked.”
Piper’s eyes widened in shock. One word she knew was “nuke.” She’d heard her dad talking about them in low voices to her mother. They could wipe out an entire civilization in an instant. The guard saw the look on her face and continued to explain.
“Yup. Outta nowhere, too. Only a few people survived. My great-great-grandfather’s family was one of ‘em. He was paranoid for years, built a built a bomb shelter three miles underground. Started when he was twenty-three and finished when he was almost eighty. But he died of old age, unlike just about everybody else. He and my great-great-grandma survived. So we just stayed where we were for generations, in case it happened again. As far as I knew, we were Americans, until the war started. Stuff started happening. We came up again. But we remember better than anybody. We could see where the Nation was going, even if we were watching from a distance. You haven’t ever heard of Hitler, have you?”
She shook her head.
“Mussolini? Stalin?”
She shook her head again. “No.” What odd names.
“Didn’t suppose so. Is it true they don’t even teach you history at your schools?”
She nodded. “The past behind, the future before.” Another National motto.
“The Diviner wouldn’t let them teach you about Hitler and all them even if you did learn history. It’d be too risky. People would start to notice the similarities.”
“Between what?”
“Between him and some of the worst dictators of all time.”
“Dictators? What do those have to do with this?”
He looked puzzled for a minute, then rolled his eyes in exasperation. “No, no, no, not those things you write with. Dictators. People who take complete control of their governments. Power-hungry monsters, more like it. Hitler killed millions of people just because they got in the way of his vision of a perfect world.” He noticed the perked look on her face. “Yeah, I said vision. Sound familiar to you?”
It wasn’t the same. It couldn’t possibly be the same. This Hitler man probably didn’t even exist.
“Don’t you think it’s even a little strange that you weren’t allowed to leave? And your man, he’s going even further than controlling people. He’s moved to the forces of nature. Is it true they don’t even have weather there?”
She nodded. A smile swept across her face unexpectedly—the reference made her think of Patrick. The guard shook his head in one swift motion, clearly indignant. “See, that’s just not right. Man trying to take the place of God… but I bet he hasn’t told you about Him either, has he?”
She shook her head again. That seemed to deliver the dying blow for the guard, who closed his eyes, stood up, and started heading for the door. Once they opened again, Piper thought she could see tears welling against his clear blue irises, but she couldn’t be sure. Just when she thought he was gone for good, he turned around one more time.
“You haven’t ever seen a Bible, have you?”
She shook her head. He looked at her for a long time, then stared at his feet. “Have a nice morning, ma’am.” He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him with a quiet click.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Spring Break in List Form

MOVIES I WATCHED (the ones that need Clearplay... I had it)
-Tuck Everlasting
-The Princess Bride
-Tangled
(twice!)
-Mr. Holland's Opus (never seen it before... quite good.)
-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (part of it, anyway. So much better than the Johnny Depp one. And I even love both him and Tim Burton.)
-The Princess Diaries 2
-You Again
(pretty good... surprisingly clean for a modern chick flick)
-Letters to Juliet
-Dead Poets Society
(another new one... also quite good.)
-HOP (Eh. It was ok. The bunny was cute. James Marsden was cuter. The plot was lacking.)

THINGS I ATE THAT ARE BAD FOR ME
-Chocolate covered strawberries
-A mini cookie dough Blizzard
-A medium raspberry truffle Blizzard
-Bluebell ice cream
-Semi-sweet chocolate chips. Quite a bit of them.
-Double orange chicken from Panda Express (aaaaahhhhhhhh. Paradise. I'm not sure if that's actually that bad for me... but as much as I ate I doubt it did me much good. Hehe.)
-Freddy's frozen custard
-Movie theater popcorn
I really don't know how I'm not morbidly obese. I weigh a smidgen more than I'd like to... but I really should by all rights be morbidly obese. But Spring Break calories don't count, right? That's what you're supposed to do over Spring Break... eat... and watch movies...

FUN THINGS I DID:
-Sleepover with Rach and Nat
-Shopping for not-prom dresses (of which there will be pictures soon. I'm just too lazy to go take a picture right now.)
-Colored a picture of Tigger with my Crayola 64-pack (Haha... and you all think I'm mature)
-Slept over at Holly's house
-Had a chick flick night with my mom and our friends Kathy and Sheryl
-Went banquet-dress shopping with Aimee (who found a gorgeous dress that makes her look like a princess)
-Had Kayla over to watch Tangled
-Went to Dairy Queen with some of the youth group
-Got my fawtheh back from California! Yay. :)

THINGS I STILL NEED TO DO
-Write two blog articles
-Find more keywords in Proverbs-- so far I've got "wisdom", "wickedness", and "righteousness".
-Study for my Physics test (tomorrow... lame. Good thing I like Physics.)
-Write some stuff for Interrobang!

SOMETHING I'M RANDOMLY EXCITED ABOUT--

This trailer almost made me cry between its awesomeness and fond recollections of my small childhood. Keane and Winnie the Pooh are an unlikely match made in Heaven. And I was SUCH a Winnie the Pooh kid. I WILL be seeing this. Like, the day it comes out. And I'll probably blog about it. :)

Aaaaaahhhh. Quite the relaxing break from reality, but alas... I must get on with life.

Much love.

<3

Saturday, April 2, 2011

All the Things I Could Say

I could write about the fun day I had finding a banquet dress for Aimee, or all the fun things I've done over Spring Break, or how I did not, to my dismay (ha), get pranked yesterday. I could tell you how I'm dreading going back to school. I could write my post about socks I've been formulating in my head for a long time. I could post a chapter of my NaNo, but it quickly becomes depressing after this, and I don't have an ending yet. I could ramble on and on about numerous things I doubt you'd care to hear me ramble about. But the words just aren't there today, and I have to go do homework. So have a Yellowcard song that's been stuck in my head all day. (An acoustic version even! I love acoustic.)



Sick of my videos yet peeps? Hehe. :)

Much love.

<3