Monday, December 31, 2012

Up and Up and Up

"To live will be an awfully big adventure."

With the words of Peter Pan as my battle cry, I charged fearlessly into 2012. I'm proud to say I've learned a bit about adventuring.

In this lovely mixed-up world there are two sorts of adventures, and I am fortunate enough to have experienced both. The first kind found me in the first half of the year. I danced myself across the stage as Laurey Williams (...okay, so the dancing was a little shaky), and I glided across another stage in my "confident woman shoes" as a graduate. I took Disneyland by storm yet again with my favorite people in the world, my family. I celebrated my last year as a Kamper with one of the best weeks yet. These are the mountaintop adventures, the crowning moments that make you feel larger than life. 

Coming off this high, I entered college. As a certain Alice once learned, some adventures make you feel big. Others make you feel very, very small. 

It's terrible and beautiful, being out on your own. Stepping onto campus, I felt like the Darlings arriving in Neverland: awestruck, confused, excited, and incredibly young. With experienced and comfortable Peters flying around all over the place, I found myself flapping my arms frantically, trying to think happy thoughts.

After senior year, I assumed I had it all together, that I knew everything, that I was the best. I was supposed to be Peter. As Mr. Barrie himself put it, I was learning "the difference between an island of make-believe and the same island come true." It's quite a lovely island, though, with so many adventures crammed into one place. Arriving full of dreams, expectations, and myself, I was promptly emptied of all my pretenses and pride. Suddenly I realized the millions upon millions of facts I didn't know, books I hadn't read, plays I hadn't seen, people I hadn't met, experiences I'd never found. I felt smaller than I've ever felt in my life-- but oh, the room to grow! 

I've been late to classes, or slept through them completely. I've blown auditions. I got a B in a class  when I should have gotten an A. But I've also stood triumphant over a well-written English paper, an audition gone well, a line clearly delivered. Above all, I've met and befriended marvelous people, many of whom have become extraordinarily precious to me. These are my happy thoughts. 

I lied to you at the beginning of this post. There's not two types of adventures. The hundreds of thousands of adventures in the world remain as unique as their adventurers, but they all have two things in common: they begin, and they end. In this year of our Lord 2012, with the appropriate pomp, circumstance, and triumph, I completed the adventure known to most as high school, beaming all the way. With the appropriate timidity, perspective, and excitement, I began the one called college. 

What's coming in 2013? No earthly clue. 

But just watch me fly.

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