"I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library." -Jorge Luis Borges
Guess where I went today?
There are people that like to read, and there are people that love to read. And then there are people like me who have their library card number memorized.
I love the library. There's just something about it that mesmerizes me. I love being in an aisle lined with books and knowing they're all waiting to tell you something. In fact, I always feel just a twinge awkward when I'm standing there and somebody else walks into the same aisle. My reverie is interrupted. The books are confused. They can't whisper to two people at once. Some of the library's charm goes away when you lose perfect solitude.
Anyways, today I was in the non-fiction section for most of the day for two reasons:
1. YA literature falls into about three categories for me anymore: either I've read it, it's dirty, or it's too popular to actually be on the shelf.
2. The poetry books are in the non-fiction section.
Don't you love that? Poetry is non-fiction. Because anyone who writes poetry they can't relate to isn't a poet. Aaaahh. I realized that today and it made me quite happy. Anyways, I found a lot of fun stuff.
Books I got that I'm excited to read:
1. 150 Love Letters You Were Never Meant To Read. It's literally scans of people's letters. With permission, of course. The whole idea really intrigued me. I flipped around and there's one that said "I bought whipped cream" in really big letters. And that's all. People are weird.
2. This massive poetry anthology that's gotta be 600 pages or more. Because I love poems.
3. Superman on the Couch: What Superheroes Really Tell Us About Ourselves and Our Society. Ahahaha! Awesome! The only thing that could make this excite me more is if it was called Spiderman on the Couch instead.
4. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. Yes. I am relatively ashamed.
That's not all, but those were the ones that came to mind.
Anyways, I'm in the poetry aisle and I see a couple people from school with a librarian, looking for some kind of book for a term paper. I don't exactly know them, but at a school as small as mine, you pretty much know who everybody is. And I'm standing there with a bag full of twelve thick books that's making my shoulder ache, and they kind of give me "the look." The "alrighty then" look. (I don't know how to describe it, but I dare say you know what I'm talking about. Who hasn't gotten that look?) And it occurs to me that they're NOT carrying twelve books over their shoulders, and they DON'T know where everything is, and they probably WOULDN'T be here unless they needed something for school.
And for a minute, I feel kinda weird.
But only for a minute.
Because then I realize that they will never understand the beauty of reading John Keats out loud. And the books don't whisper to them.
And I feel better.
<3
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Rants and Ramblings
Hey there Bloggerverse. Nice to see you.
It's been a while since I made lists. And I miss that. So here you go. Lists. :)
COOL GOD THOUGHTS:
-The way God answers prayer. Oh wow. My congregation had a prayer session last Saturday night about Thinking Souls, asking for opportunities to reach people and the courage to talk to them and all that stuff, right? THE NEXT MORNING there are two teen girls visiting. So we asked them to sit with us up front where we usually sit and told them about the devo after worship that night. And they CAME! And now I'm texting them and they're coming to our Girls' Retreat tonight. Awesome. God doesn't hesitate to give you opportunities if you're asking for them and looking for them!
-The Gospel of Mark is an awesome book. Fact. I love the use of "Immediately" throughout the book. I wrote an article on it, actually, if you want to go check it out.
-"Thousands of humans have been brought to think that humility means pretty women trying to believe they are ugly and clever men trying to believe they are fools." (C.S. Lewis). But that's so not what humility is! Pride is all a matter of keeping yourself in perspective. It's okay to appreciate your talents and rejoice in them, but it's when you start putting yourself in a place you don't belong (i.e. above others or even above God) that it's a problem. If you remember your talents are coming from God, and not you, and that God has given everybody equally awesome talents (even though they're not all the same), you oughta be fine. Yeah. Rant.
-Would you think twice about saving a complete stranger who was drowning if you knew for a fact you could save them? No? Then how come we do that almost every day? How many hundreds of souls do we pass right by in a week without saying a word to them? How many people do we write off as "complete strangers" and so decide not to share the gospel with them? Just a thought.
NEW GOALS:
-Weekly posting on Christ Crossed My Heart. And not the same articles I send to Come Fill Your Cup.
-Deeper study in my articles.
-Chapter a week on my book (more on that later).
-Chapter a week on my still-in-progress novel (but that's last on my list of priorities at this point).
FUN STUFF:
-Girls' day out with my mommy last Saturday. I love hanging out with her. She's the coolest. :) And, this day resulted in my purchase of a new hair flower, some chopsticks to do up my hair with, the complete works of William Shakespeare (for THREE BUCKS!) and a one volume Lord of the Rings trilogy (for two bucks). Oh! And Valentines! Hehehe. I won't tell you what's on them because some of you are getting them (hemhemhem Holly and Aimee). But suffice it to say that I'm pretty stoked about their awesomeness.
-Girls' Retreat tonight into tomorrow! I'm stoked. This is the fourth year in a row I've gone and they're always really great and uplifting. Love it.
NEW MUSIC:
-I gotta LOT of iTunes money for Christmas. And I'm quite happy about it. So I recently acquired Four Thieves Gone, The Gleam, and The Second Gleam all by the Avetts. (And Four Thieves was only $3.94 on Amazon. I am the bargain queen.) Oooooohhhh man. I always think I love the Avetts as much as is possible until I get a new CD and then I fall in love all over again. Quick favorite song run through (by track listing):
Four Thieves Gone:
1. Talk on Indolence, even though I like it better live. I like the odd little drum in the background starting at the "I've grown too aware of my mortality" part. That's not in the live version.
3. Colorshow-- because this is just a great song.
5. Sixteen in July-- because it's beautiful.
7. A Lover Like You-- Because it's cute.
8. Pretend Love-- Alright, this is only on this list because I love WHERE they put it on the album. The song itself probably isn't my favorite but you listen to the sugary sweet "Lover Like You" and then this comes on and you feel like he's talking about everything he said in the last song. Maybe they didn't even do that on purpose, I don't know, but if they did they're BRILLIANT!
10. The Lowering (A Sad Day in Greenville)-- The melody on this is just indescribably beautiful and the lyrics make me want to cry.
12. Famous Flower of Manhattan-- I've actually had this one for a long time. It was one of the first Avett songs I ever heard and the first time I listened to it I cried. I love how the Avetts can do that. They get under your skin and into your heart before you even know what happened.
13. 40 East-- This is my current favorite Avett song, I think. Maybe. I don't know, I have too many. But it's beautiful. Bob Crawford rocks. I LOVE Bob Crawford songs. They should let him sing more often.
The Gleam:
2. When I Drink-- I talked about this one in my Live Volume 3 post but it's just unbelievably good. Enough said. (And again. It's not really about drinking. It's about LIFE.)
3. Yardsale-- This is just a cool song. I can't put my finger on exactly why I like it so much, but it's good.
4. If It's the Beaches-- If you listen to this song and it has absolutely no effect on you... check your pulse. Oh wow. Gorgeous. I love how they put phone messages in songs. They did that with "Pretty Girl from Chile" on Emotionalism too. I do hope they're real phone messages and not fake studio recorded ones. Being that it's the Avetts, I'm pretty sure they're legit.
The Second Gleam:
1. Tear Down the House-- "And I remember cryin' over you, and I don't mean a couple of tears and I'm blue. I'm talking 'bout collapsing and screamin' at the moon..." Poetry. Pure poetry.
2. Murder in the City-- Just listen to it. It's a good song.
3. Bella Donna- This is just a beautiful, beautiful melody line. And a belladonna is also a poisonous flower. Which I doubt is a coincidence.
6. St. Joseph's-- There's a St. Joseph's hospital downtown. I doubt it's the same one they're talking about, but there is! Haha. But for real, this is a gorgeous song. "It's not where I am, it's who I'm with."
In other music news, I discovered Florence + the Machine and Blitzen Trapper. Neither of which are a thing like the Avetts. Well, Blitzen Trapper CAN be. But they're not ALL the time.
MISCELLANEOUS INJUSTICES:
-Lady Gaga. Katy Perry. Justin Bieber. What do all these freakshows have in common? They're ALL GRAMMY NOMINEES. Proving that the Grammies have ceased to mean a thing when it comes to talent, depth, or musical quality. Boo.
-The Dark Knight Rises casting is out. First, Johnny Depp is NOT in fact playing the Riddler, which is an injustice against me. (The Riddler's not even in it. I'm mad at whoever started that rumor and got my hopes up.) Second, ANNE HATHAWAY is playing Catwoman, which is an injustice against all of humanity. NO! Anne Hathaway cannot pull off Catwoman. No taco.
-I have to plod through a book analysis on The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn... enough said. Five symbols, three targets of satire, three key scenes, and a reaction. Phew. Shoot me now.
OTHER STUFF:
-I can officially give blood again! I am past my 52 day mark and I can't wait to go again. We're trying to get my mom to go with me this time... she's kinda terrified of blood, but I keep telling her it was soooo easy. When we do go (whether she gives with me or not), I shall blog about it.
-American Idol came back this week, and I was pleasantly surprised to find I like Steven Tyler AND Jennifer Lopez as judges. I mean, I was bound to hate one of them, right? But I don't. Steven Tyler is hilarious, but he takes over the blunt criticism from Simon quite nicely as well. And I was expecting Jennifer Lopez to be a prima donna "I know everything" type of girl, but she appears to be quite down to earth. A pleasant surprise.
AND FINALLY....
My book. :)
Here's my thing with books for Christian girls. The premise is "Pray. Read your Bible. Don't have sex. Don't do drugs. Don't drink. Don't dance. You're good!" So what do the good girls do? How do we go any deeper than that? I've kinda reached the point where I've heard it all a million times. I KNOW to read my Bible. I KNOW to pray. I'm a "good girl". I don't have an issue with sex or drugs or drinking because I was raised to know those things were bad. So where do I go from there? So I'm going to write a book for "good girls" (maybe called Higher Ground) about how to go from good to BETTER. :) My ideas so far for topics:
-Prayer (specifically getting a better more personal prayer life, ACTS, stuff like that.)
-Bible STUDY (not just Bible reading)
-Evangelism
-Encouragement
-Speech
If you're a teenage girl and you have ideas for me, PLEASE PLEASE comment for me! I'd love to hear it! I kinda want to focus more on the do's than the don'ts, because I feel like we know the don'ts inside and out at this point and Christianity isn't just a checklist, but regardless of what you have an idea for let me know! Muchas gracias!
Mmmm... alright. I have to go get ready for my retreat. Thank you for reading my useless rambling. Much love, Bloggers. :)
It's been a while since I made lists. And I miss that. So here you go. Lists. :)
COOL GOD THOUGHTS:
-The way God answers prayer. Oh wow. My congregation had a prayer session last Saturday night about Thinking Souls, asking for opportunities to reach people and the courage to talk to them and all that stuff, right? THE NEXT MORNING there are two teen girls visiting. So we asked them to sit with us up front where we usually sit and told them about the devo after worship that night. And they CAME! And now I'm texting them and they're coming to our Girls' Retreat tonight. Awesome. God doesn't hesitate to give you opportunities if you're asking for them and looking for them!
-The Gospel of Mark is an awesome book. Fact. I love the use of "Immediately" throughout the book. I wrote an article on it, actually, if you want to go check it out.
-"Thousands of humans have been brought to think that humility means pretty women trying to believe they are ugly and clever men trying to believe they are fools." (C.S. Lewis). But that's so not what humility is! Pride is all a matter of keeping yourself in perspective. It's okay to appreciate your talents and rejoice in them, but it's when you start putting yourself in a place you don't belong (i.e. above others or even above God) that it's a problem. If you remember your talents are coming from God, and not you, and that God has given everybody equally awesome talents (even though they're not all the same), you oughta be fine. Yeah. Rant.
-Would you think twice about saving a complete stranger who was drowning if you knew for a fact you could save them? No? Then how come we do that almost every day? How many hundreds of souls do we pass right by in a week without saying a word to them? How many people do we write off as "complete strangers" and so decide not to share the gospel with them? Just a thought.
NEW GOALS:
-Weekly posting on Christ Crossed My Heart. And not the same articles I send to Come Fill Your Cup.
-Deeper study in my articles.
-Chapter a week on my book (more on that later).
-Chapter a week on my still-in-progress novel (but that's last on my list of priorities at this point).
FUN STUFF:
-Girls' day out with my mommy last Saturday. I love hanging out with her. She's the coolest. :) And, this day resulted in my purchase of a new hair flower, some chopsticks to do up my hair with, the complete works of William Shakespeare (for THREE BUCKS!) and a one volume Lord of the Rings trilogy (for two bucks). Oh! And Valentines! Hehehe. I won't tell you what's on them because some of you are getting them (hemhemhem Holly and Aimee). But suffice it to say that I'm pretty stoked about their awesomeness.
-Girls' Retreat tonight into tomorrow! I'm stoked. This is the fourth year in a row I've gone and they're always really great and uplifting. Love it.
NEW MUSIC:
-I gotta LOT of iTunes money for Christmas. And I'm quite happy about it. So I recently acquired Four Thieves Gone, The Gleam, and The Second Gleam all by the Avetts. (And Four Thieves was only $3.94 on Amazon. I am the bargain queen.) Oooooohhhh man. I always think I love the Avetts as much as is possible until I get a new CD and then I fall in love all over again. Quick favorite song run through (by track listing):
Four Thieves Gone:
1. Talk on Indolence, even though I like it better live. I like the odd little drum in the background starting at the "I've grown too aware of my mortality" part. That's not in the live version.
3. Colorshow-- because this is just a great song.
5. Sixteen in July-- because it's beautiful.
7. A Lover Like You-- Because it's cute.
8. Pretend Love-- Alright, this is only on this list because I love WHERE they put it on the album. The song itself probably isn't my favorite but you listen to the sugary sweet "Lover Like You" and then this comes on and you feel like he's talking about everything he said in the last song. Maybe they didn't even do that on purpose, I don't know, but if they did they're BRILLIANT!
10. The Lowering (A Sad Day in Greenville)-- The melody on this is just indescribably beautiful and the lyrics make me want to cry.
12. Famous Flower of Manhattan-- I've actually had this one for a long time. It was one of the first Avett songs I ever heard and the first time I listened to it I cried. I love how the Avetts can do that. They get under your skin and into your heart before you even know what happened.
13. 40 East-- This is my current favorite Avett song, I think. Maybe. I don't know, I have too many. But it's beautiful. Bob Crawford rocks. I LOVE Bob Crawford songs. They should let him sing more often.
The Gleam:
2. When I Drink-- I talked about this one in my Live Volume 3 post but it's just unbelievably good. Enough said. (And again. It's not really about drinking. It's about LIFE.)
3. Yardsale-- This is just a cool song. I can't put my finger on exactly why I like it so much, but it's good.
4. If It's the Beaches-- If you listen to this song and it has absolutely no effect on you... check your pulse. Oh wow. Gorgeous. I love how they put phone messages in songs. They did that with "Pretty Girl from Chile" on Emotionalism too. I do hope they're real phone messages and not fake studio recorded ones. Being that it's the Avetts, I'm pretty sure they're legit.
The Second Gleam:
1. Tear Down the House-- "And I remember cryin' over you, and I don't mean a couple of tears and I'm blue. I'm talking 'bout collapsing and screamin' at the moon..." Poetry. Pure poetry.
2. Murder in the City-- Just listen to it. It's a good song.
3. Bella Donna- This is just a beautiful, beautiful melody line. And a belladonna is also a poisonous flower. Which I doubt is a coincidence.
6. St. Joseph's-- There's a St. Joseph's hospital downtown. I doubt it's the same one they're talking about, but there is! Haha. But for real, this is a gorgeous song. "It's not where I am, it's who I'm with."
In other music news, I discovered Florence + the Machine and Blitzen Trapper. Neither of which are a thing like the Avetts. Well, Blitzen Trapper CAN be. But they're not ALL the time.
MISCELLANEOUS INJUSTICES:
-Lady Gaga. Katy Perry. Justin Bieber. What do all these freakshows have in common? They're ALL GRAMMY NOMINEES. Proving that the Grammies have ceased to mean a thing when it comes to talent, depth, or musical quality. Boo.
-The Dark Knight Rises casting is out. First, Johnny Depp is NOT in fact playing the Riddler, which is an injustice against me. (The Riddler's not even in it. I'm mad at whoever started that rumor and got my hopes up.) Second, ANNE HATHAWAY is playing Catwoman, which is an injustice against all of humanity. NO! Anne Hathaway cannot pull off Catwoman. No taco.
-I have to plod through a book analysis on The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn... enough said. Five symbols, three targets of satire, three key scenes, and a reaction. Phew. Shoot me now.
OTHER STUFF:
-I can officially give blood again! I am past my 52 day mark and I can't wait to go again. We're trying to get my mom to go with me this time... she's kinda terrified of blood, but I keep telling her it was soooo easy. When we do go (whether she gives with me or not), I shall blog about it.
-American Idol came back this week, and I was pleasantly surprised to find I like Steven Tyler AND Jennifer Lopez as judges. I mean, I was bound to hate one of them, right? But I don't. Steven Tyler is hilarious, but he takes over the blunt criticism from Simon quite nicely as well. And I was expecting Jennifer Lopez to be a prima donna "I know everything" type of girl, but she appears to be quite down to earth. A pleasant surprise.
AND FINALLY....
My book. :)
Here's my thing with books for Christian girls. The premise is "Pray. Read your Bible. Don't have sex. Don't do drugs. Don't drink. Don't dance. You're good!" So what do the good girls do? How do we go any deeper than that? I've kinda reached the point where I've heard it all a million times. I KNOW to read my Bible. I KNOW to pray. I'm a "good girl". I don't have an issue with sex or drugs or drinking because I was raised to know those things were bad. So where do I go from there? So I'm going to write a book for "good girls" (maybe called Higher Ground) about how to go from good to BETTER. :) My ideas so far for topics:
-Prayer (specifically getting a better more personal prayer life, ACTS, stuff like that.)
-Bible STUDY (not just Bible reading)
-Evangelism
-Encouragement
-Speech
If you're a teenage girl and you have ideas for me, PLEASE PLEASE comment for me! I'd love to hear it! I kinda want to focus more on the do's than the don'ts, because I feel like we know the don'ts inside and out at this point and Christianity isn't just a checklist, but regardless of what you have an idea for let me know! Muchas gracias!
Mmmm... alright. I have to go get ready for my retreat. Thank you for reading my useless rambling. Much love, Bloggers. :)
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Chapter 10
Hello dear sweet forsaken NaNo novel. I've missed you.
Ok, so it hasn't been completely forsaken. But I'm not just rippin' through it like I was in November. Oh well. Regardless, here's the next part. Sorry it's been forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Sit down, Miss Conrad,” the gruff voice behind the lights said. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust for her to even find a chair. As the blinding white slowly funneled out of her eyes, she found the man in front of her incredibly intimidating. He wore the same uniform as Patrick, but filled it with much more bulk and muscle. That being said, he wasn’t an extremely young man; she estimated him to be about fifty, if no older than fifty-five. The lines of his face, especially his jaw, were sharp and jagged, as though he’d been carved out of a rock by a particularly poor sculptor. Cold gray eyes, holding none of the warmth of Patrick’s or even Trey’s, peered out at her from beneath the brim of his hat. He was everything she had expected a Memorist sergeant to be, and he terrified her beyond even her own expectations.
She sat down immediately, more out of fear than compliance. The man was sitting at a primitive looking desk made of wood. On the desktop was a name plate that read: “Sergeant Bernard Collins” in official capitol letters. Next to it sat a cup full of pencils, and even pens. A piece of paper lay on the desk directly in front of the Sergeant, and there was no Dictator machine in sight. Of course, she herself had even wanted to write a letter to Branson, but why would anyone in a setting such as this prefer to record a conversation by hand? Dictators had the capacity to print an entire sentence within a millisecond of its oral completion through laser printers. She supposed the Sergeant preferred to make the same statement as Patrick and his Memorists: live in the past, and reject progress.
Her train of thought was broken by the calm, controlled voice of the commanding officer.
“You put me in a predicament, Miss Collins,” he said again. His voice wasn’t loud or boisterous; in fact, it was the only part of her drill sergeant description that this man didn’t match perfectly. However, the quiet, accusatory tone of his speech almost frightened her more than if he had been yelling at the top of his lungs. “I cannot keep you here, but now that you’ve seen this place I can’t afford to let you leave.”
“I didn’t see the passcode, I wouldn’t know how to get in anyway,” she protested.
“Ah, but therein lies the problem, Miss Conrad. The only thing I have to prove that is your word. Private Blue has told me your story. I don’t appreciate the affect you’ve had on him.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Are you not aware, Miss Conrad, that he ran away from his commission in an effort to keep you safe?”
Her eyes widened as she shook her head in shock.
“A loyal move, no doubt, but loyalty to the enemy is worth nothing to me. A complete waste of my time and manpower.”
Suddenly it all clicked in her head: his not knowing where they were going, his reluctance to leave behind his walkie-talkie. He hadn’t been planning to desert. He deserted for her. She found herself more confused than ever. He hadn’t even know her then. What welled up inside Patrick, what ridiculous amounts of compassion, that he would be willing to risk his position and even his life for an enemy stranger? The things that boy did for her…
“I also have a serious concern as to your motives, Miss Conrad. You are looking for your National brother and father, your father being Nigel Conrad, am I correct?”
She nodded. She had never told Patrick her father’s name, as far as she could recall. As though reading her mind, the Sergeant continued, “We make it our business to know every aspect of the enemy’s army. Your father is a prominent general in the National forces. I myself am shocked at Private Blue’s total stupidity in harboring the child of one of our greatest nemeses.”
She had expected execution. Insult was almost as bad.
“Yet, I find another predicament, Miss Conrad, in the case of your grandmother.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said earnestly. What did Nana have to do with any of this?
“You are probably unaware that your grandmother, Sadie Conrad, has acted as a Safeguard for the Memorist army for the last eight years of her life.”
Most of the sentence flew over Piper’s head, but she understood three words with inescapable clarity: “Sadie Conrad” and “Memorist.”
“A Safeguard, Miss Conrad, is the term we use for one who looks over top secret government documents; in this case, an Apocalypse Journal.”
Piper’s hand flew to her heart in an effort to keep it from escaping her chest. Nana couldn’t have had an Apocalypse Journal, even in her attic… Nana wasn’t a traitor…
“She expressed a wish to pass the Journal on to you at some point before her passing, so you can see my problem. She obviously trusted you, but I have no way to know for sure if I can.”
“Her passing?” She bypassed the rest of the sentence completely, shoving the chair back as she stood up in outrage. “You killed her! Your bombs attacked my city, you KILLED my mother!” She was shocked at the strength of her own voice. She felt bigger and stronger looking down at the Sergeant, who was still sitting calmly in his chair. “My brother was five. Five years old with blue eyes and a little heart that only knew that his mother was inside the house burning to death.”
“Miss Conrad, I sympathize with your loss. I truly do.”
“How can you? You have no heart, none of you! You don’t understand that there are people in our cities, civilians! Five year olds! You may have wiped out an important city but you also snuffed out thousands of people who lived ordinary lives. How do you live with yourselves?” By this time hot tears were rolling down her face, not just from sadness, but also from anger and indignation.
“If you would listen to the entire story—“
“I don’t have to listen, you’re all the same. All over a stupid book! And you’d even kill your own spy to accomplish your ends. If I know anything about my grandmother, I know she was loyal, loyal to me, and probably loyal to you if you’re telling me the truth. And that’s how you repay her loyalty? With death and destruction?”
“If you would let me finish, Miss Conrad,” he tried to say. She cut him off before he could continue.
“I hope you die. I hope you all go up in a ball of fire, just like my family, all in the name of your delusions. I hope you die a miserable death and you think of my little brother running back into a burning building, you think of my mother screaming and crying, you think of—“
“MISS CONRAD!”
She sat down hurriedly just as the Sergeant stood up, towering over her like a capitol building. His raised voice terrified her even more than his calm.
“There is one crucial fact you have to understand, Miss Conrad,” he said, lowering his voice once again. Maybe it was the light, but she thought she saw tears welling in his eyes as well. The illusion almost gave them a sort of warmth and vulnerability.
“Memorists did not bomb your city. Nationals did.”
Ok, so it hasn't been completely forsaken. But I'm not just rippin' through it like I was in November. Oh well. Regardless, here's the next part. Sorry it's been forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Sit down, Miss Conrad,” the gruff voice behind the lights said. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust for her to even find a chair. As the blinding white slowly funneled out of her eyes, she found the man in front of her incredibly intimidating. He wore the same uniform as Patrick, but filled it with much more bulk and muscle. That being said, he wasn’t an extremely young man; she estimated him to be about fifty, if no older than fifty-five. The lines of his face, especially his jaw, were sharp and jagged, as though he’d been carved out of a rock by a particularly poor sculptor. Cold gray eyes, holding none of the warmth of Patrick’s or even Trey’s, peered out at her from beneath the brim of his hat. He was everything she had expected a Memorist sergeant to be, and he terrified her beyond even her own expectations.
She sat down immediately, more out of fear than compliance. The man was sitting at a primitive looking desk made of wood. On the desktop was a name plate that read: “Sergeant Bernard Collins” in official capitol letters. Next to it sat a cup full of pencils, and even pens. A piece of paper lay on the desk directly in front of the Sergeant, and there was no Dictator machine in sight. Of course, she herself had even wanted to write a letter to Branson, but why would anyone in a setting such as this prefer to record a conversation by hand? Dictators had the capacity to print an entire sentence within a millisecond of its oral completion through laser printers. She supposed the Sergeant preferred to make the same statement as Patrick and his Memorists: live in the past, and reject progress.
Her train of thought was broken by the calm, controlled voice of the commanding officer.
“You put me in a predicament, Miss Collins,” he said again. His voice wasn’t loud or boisterous; in fact, it was the only part of her drill sergeant description that this man didn’t match perfectly. However, the quiet, accusatory tone of his speech almost frightened her more than if he had been yelling at the top of his lungs. “I cannot keep you here, but now that you’ve seen this place I can’t afford to let you leave.”
“I didn’t see the passcode, I wouldn’t know how to get in anyway,” she protested.
“Ah, but therein lies the problem, Miss Conrad. The only thing I have to prove that is your word. Private Blue has told me your story. I don’t appreciate the affect you’ve had on him.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Are you not aware, Miss Conrad, that he ran away from his commission in an effort to keep you safe?”
Her eyes widened as she shook her head in shock.
“A loyal move, no doubt, but loyalty to the enemy is worth nothing to me. A complete waste of my time and manpower.”
Suddenly it all clicked in her head: his not knowing where they were going, his reluctance to leave behind his walkie-talkie. He hadn’t been planning to desert. He deserted for her. She found herself more confused than ever. He hadn’t even know her then. What welled up inside Patrick, what ridiculous amounts of compassion, that he would be willing to risk his position and even his life for an enemy stranger? The things that boy did for her…
“I also have a serious concern as to your motives, Miss Conrad. You are looking for your National brother and father, your father being Nigel Conrad, am I correct?”
She nodded. She had never told Patrick her father’s name, as far as she could recall. As though reading her mind, the Sergeant continued, “We make it our business to know every aspect of the enemy’s army. Your father is a prominent general in the National forces. I myself am shocked at Private Blue’s total stupidity in harboring the child of one of our greatest nemeses.”
She had expected execution. Insult was almost as bad.
“Yet, I find another predicament, Miss Conrad, in the case of your grandmother.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said earnestly. What did Nana have to do with any of this?
“You are probably unaware that your grandmother, Sadie Conrad, has acted as a Safeguard for the Memorist army for the last eight years of her life.”
Most of the sentence flew over Piper’s head, but she understood three words with inescapable clarity: “Sadie Conrad” and “Memorist.”
“A Safeguard, Miss Conrad, is the term we use for one who looks over top secret government documents; in this case, an Apocalypse Journal.”
Piper’s hand flew to her heart in an effort to keep it from escaping her chest. Nana couldn’t have had an Apocalypse Journal, even in her attic… Nana wasn’t a traitor…
“She expressed a wish to pass the Journal on to you at some point before her passing, so you can see my problem. She obviously trusted you, but I have no way to know for sure if I can.”
“Her passing?” She bypassed the rest of the sentence completely, shoving the chair back as she stood up in outrage. “You killed her! Your bombs attacked my city, you KILLED my mother!” She was shocked at the strength of her own voice. She felt bigger and stronger looking down at the Sergeant, who was still sitting calmly in his chair. “My brother was five. Five years old with blue eyes and a little heart that only knew that his mother was inside the house burning to death.”
“Miss Conrad, I sympathize with your loss. I truly do.”
“How can you? You have no heart, none of you! You don’t understand that there are people in our cities, civilians! Five year olds! You may have wiped out an important city but you also snuffed out thousands of people who lived ordinary lives. How do you live with yourselves?” By this time hot tears were rolling down her face, not just from sadness, but also from anger and indignation.
“If you would listen to the entire story—“
“I don’t have to listen, you’re all the same. All over a stupid book! And you’d even kill your own spy to accomplish your ends. If I know anything about my grandmother, I know she was loyal, loyal to me, and probably loyal to you if you’re telling me the truth. And that’s how you repay her loyalty? With death and destruction?”
“If you would let me finish, Miss Conrad,” he tried to say. She cut him off before he could continue.
“I hope you die. I hope you all go up in a ball of fire, just like my family, all in the name of your delusions. I hope you die a miserable death and you think of my little brother running back into a burning building, you think of my mother screaming and crying, you think of—“
“MISS CONRAD!”
She sat down hurriedly just as the Sergeant stood up, towering over her like a capitol building. His raised voice terrified her even more than his calm.
“There is one crucial fact you have to understand, Miss Conrad,” he said, lowering his voice once again. Maybe it was the light, but she thought she saw tears welling in his eyes as well. The illusion almost gave them a sort of warmth and vulnerability.
“Memorists did not bomb your city. Nationals did.”
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Georgian Adventures
In elementary school they always made me write fun reports, like "What I Did on My Christmas Vacation." Now... they make me write term papers. So, in homage to the good old days in first grade...
Hemhemhem... What I did on my Christmas Vacation. By Melissa.
Christmas morning came all too fast. It never quite felt like Christmas this year... maybe it was the, um, LACK OF SNOW. But anyway, we woke up before it was really even light outside to (what else?) open Christmas presents. Before the morning was out, I had acquired an "I Heart the Beatles" shirt, an "I Heart Woody" shirt, a giant book of Charlie Brown comics, The Phantom of the Opera (see here), The Muppet Movie, and Season 3 of That Girl, among several other awesome things. Oh, and these!!
Yup. Neon rainbow Converse knee socks. You're jealous of these babies.
However, such joy was short-lived. Because even donning my fantastic Cowboy Woody shirt and my knee socks, I had to face, on CHRISTMAS DAY, the horror of all horrors: an AIRPLANE.
Something you should know about me is that I don't like airplanes. Not even a little bit. My dad is so funny. He thinks that after flying all the way to Africa on them, it shouldn't bother me anymore. That I should suddenly LIKE the things or something ridiculous like that. No, Father, no. If anything, close to 24 hours of plane flight only solidifies your hatred for them. Airplanes smell funny. They make me nauseous. And they induce an incredible amount of boredom. I hate planes.
However, there was free wifi on the plane. And that made it much better.
At long last (well, it was a much shorter last because of the wifi), we made it to our final destination. Georgia. Where it was snowing. Go figure! I live in a very, very snowy place, and there'd been, like, two snowfalls all season. And we get to Hotlanta, of all places, and it's snowing on Christmas Day for the first time since 1882.
Life is weird.
The next few days, however fun they were, are not quite blogworthy. However, there was one day that stood out among the rest: Georgia Aquarium/ World of Coca-Cola day.
Something else you should know about me is I'm kind of in love with aquariums. Aquatic life is just absolutely beautiful in such a unique way. God's creativity and artistry comes out so clearly in the ocean. I could grow gills and live in the ocean quite happily. So, aquariums... aquariums rock. And the Georgia Aquarium is the largest aquarium in the world.
I brought you pictures, blog friends!
This is a crab. Just a crab. I just think they're funky-lookin'.
I like starfish. Starfish are pretty.
See what I mean? God is so incredibly creative.
These are beluga whales. They are so. Ridiculously. Beautiful.
Sorry, it's incredibly hard to take good pictures in an aquarium. But this is the biggest tank in the biggest aquarium in the world. That thing in the middle is a whale shark. I do believe it is the biggest fish there is. And there are THREE OF THEM. The viewing window is about as big as a movie theater screen and I could sit there staring at it for the rest of my life. (It's a lot more awesome than my pictures.)
See? That thing is HUGE!!
Well, I could spend the whole post on the aquarium, but you gotta hear about the Coke Museum too.
Yet another thing you should know about me is that last year, one of my New Years' resolutions was not to drink pop for an entire year. Keep that in mind.
I don't know if you know it, but Coca-Cola was invented in Georgia. It was originally medicine. So now the museum is (conveniently) right across the street from the aquarium, and less than a mile away from the place where Coke was first sold. Tidbit of trivia for you. :)
The entrance room was full of a bunch of Coke memorabilia. But the light was bad. So here's one picture from there.
This is us and the Coke polar bear. Like THE Coke polar bear. Think he's just another guy in a costume? Think again. He BLINKED.
Vending machines through the years...
Hello, Charlie Brown. I was quite happy to find you amongst the Coke memorabilia. :)
Modern art a la Coke.
This is the American Idol couch. Carrie Underwood once sat exactly where I'm sitting in this picture. Geek out!!! :)
I don't have any pictures of the last room. The last room was the tasting room. Over forty different Coke products to try.
Dear Readers, I caved. A week away from accomplishing my goal, I caved. I now know that pop is REALLY gross after you haven't had it for nearly a year. The carbonation burns your throat and it just makes you feel all around icky. Goodbye, pop. (I don't, however, regret my delicious complimentary Coke in a glass bottle that they gave me before I left. Nothing quite beats Coke in a glass bottle.)
The last stop on our adventure? Centennial Olympic Park. Before the 1996 Olympics the city raised a bunch of money by selling customized bricks to pave the park with. So my grandma and grandpa got me one when I was two. :)
This is me with my brick at age 4 or so....
And this is me with my brick now. I used to be so cute! What happened! ;)
Well... yup. That was my Christmas vacation. An adventure indeed. :)
<3
Hemhemhem... What I did on my Christmas Vacation. By Melissa.
Christmas morning came all too fast. It never quite felt like Christmas this year... maybe it was the, um, LACK OF SNOW. But anyway, we woke up before it was really even light outside to (what else?) open Christmas presents. Before the morning was out, I had acquired an "I Heart the Beatles" shirt, an "I Heart Woody" shirt, a giant book of Charlie Brown comics, The Phantom of the Opera (see here), The Muppet Movie, and Season 3 of That Girl, among several other awesome things. Oh, and these!!
Yup. Neon rainbow Converse knee socks. You're jealous of these babies.
However, such joy was short-lived. Because even donning my fantastic Cowboy Woody shirt and my knee socks, I had to face, on CHRISTMAS DAY, the horror of all horrors: an AIRPLANE.
Something you should know about me is that I don't like airplanes. Not even a little bit. My dad is so funny. He thinks that after flying all the way to Africa on them, it shouldn't bother me anymore. That I should suddenly LIKE the things or something ridiculous like that. No, Father, no. If anything, close to 24 hours of plane flight only solidifies your hatred for them. Airplanes smell funny. They make me nauseous. And they induce an incredible amount of boredom. I hate planes.
However, there was free wifi on the plane. And that made it much better.
At long last (well, it was a much shorter last because of the wifi), we made it to our final destination. Georgia. Where it was snowing. Go figure! I live in a very, very snowy place, and there'd been, like, two snowfalls all season. And we get to Hotlanta, of all places, and it's snowing on Christmas Day for the first time since 1882.
Life is weird.
The next few days, however fun they were, are not quite blogworthy. However, there was one day that stood out among the rest: Georgia Aquarium/ World of Coca-Cola day.
Something else you should know about me is I'm kind of in love with aquariums. Aquatic life is just absolutely beautiful in such a unique way. God's creativity and artistry comes out so clearly in the ocean. I could grow gills and live in the ocean quite happily. So, aquariums... aquariums rock. And the Georgia Aquarium is the largest aquarium in the world.
I brought you pictures, blog friends!
This is a crab. Just a crab. I just think they're funky-lookin'.
I like starfish. Starfish are pretty.
See what I mean? God is so incredibly creative.
These are beluga whales. They are so. Ridiculously. Beautiful.
Sorry, it's incredibly hard to take good pictures in an aquarium. But this is the biggest tank in the biggest aquarium in the world. That thing in the middle is a whale shark. I do believe it is the biggest fish there is. And there are THREE OF THEM. The viewing window is about as big as a movie theater screen and I could sit there staring at it for the rest of my life. (It's a lot more awesome than my pictures.)
See? That thing is HUGE!!
Well, I could spend the whole post on the aquarium, but you gotta hear about the Coke Museum too.
Yet another thing you should know about me is that last year, one of my New Years' resolutions was not to drink pop for an entire year. Keep that in mind.
I don't know if you know it, but Coca-Cola was invented in Georgia. It was originally medicine. So now the museum is (conveniently) right across the street from the aquarium, and less than a mile away from the place where Coke was first sold. Tidbit of trivia for you. :)
The entrance room was full of a bunch of Coke memorabilia. But the light was bad. So here's one picture from there.
This is us and the Coke polar bear. Like THE Coke polar bear. Think he's just another guy in a costume? Think again. He BLINKED.
Vending machines through the years...
Hello, Charlie Brown. I was quite happy to find you amongst the Coke memorabilia. :)
Modern art a la Coke.
This is the American Idol couch. Carrie Underwood once sat exactly where I'm sitting in this picture. Geek out!!! :)
I don't have any pictures of the last room. The last room was the tasting room. Over forty different Coke products to try.
Dear Readers, I caved. A week away from accomplishing my goal, I caved. I now know that pop is REALLY gross after you haven't had it for nearly a year. The carbonation burns your throat and it just makes you feel all around icky. Goodbye, pop. (I don't, however, regret my delicious complimentary Coke in a glass bottle that they gave me before I left. Nothing quite beats Coke in a glass bottle.)
The last stop on our adventure? Centennial Olympic Park. Before the 1996 Olympics the city raised a bunch of money by selling customized bricks to pave the park with. So my grandma and grandpa got me one when I was two. :)
This is me with my brick at age 4 or so....
And this is me with my brick now. I used to be so cute! What happened! ;)
Well... yup. That was my Christmas vacation. An adventure indeed. :)
<3
Thursday, January 13, 2011
A Hole
She lived. She breathed. She loved. She laughed. She cried. She failed. She succeeded. From what I've heard, she succeeded a lot more than she failed.
She graduated from my high school two years before I started going there. She was an athlete, a "Mathlete", good at science, good at Spanish. Valedictorian. Today several teachers left school early to attend her memorial service.
I didn't know her, so I'm not quite sure why it rattles me so much that over winter break, she chose to take her own life.
There's a facebook group in "loving memory" of her. I've seen the tears. I've heard the testaments to her wonderful personality, her kindness, her intelligence, the light she brought to the lives around her. She was loved.
What disaster, what terrible sense of despair, can come over a person so suffocatingly strong that even love can't shine any kind of hopeful light?
I've never in all my life known or heard of a single person who was loved by no one. Perhaps that's why suicides are so tragic. Life is intentionally snuffed out. A horrible hole is left in the lives of friends, family, teachers. But that person, the person who is now gone forever, didn't recognize that hole, didn't realize the awful hurt, the agonized tears that his or her death would cause. They assumed no one would care.
Those of you who have gotten to know me well would leave a heartwrenching, gaping hole in my world if ever something were to happen to you. Some of you would leave a much bigger hole than you realize. Those of you who don't know me well would still leave an unoccupied space in my day: the face in the hallway, the seat behind me in math class. You would be noticed. You would be missed. You would be cried over.
Don't make that decision. Ever. There is hope. There is love. More than anything there is God.
This is me saying I care.
This is me saying you're not alone.
This is me saying you can make it.
This is me saying I will help.
And if you're okay... take the time to make sure someone else is. You never know whose life you could be saving.
She graduated from my high school two years before I started going there. She was an athlete, a "Mathlete", good at science, good at Spanish. Valedictorian. Today several teachers left school early to attend her memorial service.
I didn't know her, so I'm not quite sure why it rattles me so much that over winter break, she chose to take her own life.
There's a facebook group in "loving memory" of her. I've seen the tears. I've heard the testaments to her wonderful personality, her kindness, her intelligence, the light she brought to the lives around her. She was loved.
What disaster, what terrible sense of despair, can come over a person so suffocatingly strong that even love can't shine any kind of hopeful light?
I've never in all my life known or heard of a single person who was loved by no one. Perhaps that's why suicides are so tragic. Life is intentionally snuffed out. A horrible hole is left in the lives of friends, family, teachers. But that person, the person who is now gone forever, didn't recognize that hole, didn't realize the awful hurt, the agonized tears that his or her death would cause. They assumed no one would care.
Those of you who have gotten to know me well would leave a heartwrenching, gaping hole in my world if ever something were to happen to you. Some of you would leave a much bigger hole than you realize. Those of you who don't know me well would still leave an unoccupied space in my day: the face in the hallway, the seat behind me in math class. You would be noticed. You would be missed. You would be cried over.
Don't make that decision. Ever. There is hope. There is love. More than anything there is God.
This is me saying I care.
This is me saying you're not alone.
This is me saying you can make it.
This is me saying I will help.
And if you're okay... take the time to make sure someone else is. You never know whose life you could be saving.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Poems poems POOOOEEEMMMMSSSS!!!!!!!!!
Hi. I found poems. :)
We're reading Walt Whitman in English, and honestly I didn't expect to like him much at all. I usually really don't like free verse, but these were like... wow.
The first one really made me think of Romans 1:20-- "For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse." It's actually just one stanza of a massive fifty-two stanza poem called "Song of Myself."
"Song of Myself" Stanza 31
I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey work of the stars,
And the pismire is equally perfect, and a grain of sand, and the egg of the wren,
And the tree-toad is a chef-d'oeuvre for the highest,
And the running blackberry would adorn the parlors of heaven,
And the narrowest hinge in my hand puts to scorn all machinery,
And the cow crunching with depress'd head surpasses any statue,
And a mouse is miracle enough to stagger sextillions of infidels.
I LOVE that image. "A mouse is miracle enough to stagger sextillions of infidels." So awesome.
This next one is just AMAZING. Oh. I love it. I'll let you read it first and then I'll geek out.
"A Noiseless, Patient Spider"
A noiseless patient spider,
I mark'd where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark'd how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch'd forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.
And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form'd, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.
Ok. The awesome thing about this is that one of Whitman's main themes is equality and unity and the connections that keep society together and keep the country running. So this is about stretching out to find the other people your little soul filaments are going to catch on. They're not gonna connect with everyone, but you gotta keep looking until they do. And that's just kinda awesome to me. And the imagery is beautiful.
Well, yeah. That's all. I like poetry. Thanks for wastin' your time reading this. :)
<3
We're reading Walt Whitman in English, and honestly I didn't expect to like him much at all. I usually really don't like free verse, but these were like... wow.
The first one really made me think of Romans 1:20-- "For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse." It's actually just one stanza of a massive fifty-two stanza poem called "Song of Myself."
"Song of Myself" Stanza 31
I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journey work of the stars,
And the pismire is equally perfect, and a grain of sand, and the egg of the wren,
And the tree-toad is a chef-d'oeuvre for the highest,
And the running blackberry would adorn the parlors of heaven,
And the narrowest hinge in my hand puts to scorn all machinery,
And the cow crunching with depress'd head surpasses any statue,
And a mouse is miracle enough to stagger sextillions of infidels.
I LOVE that image. "A mouse is miracle enough to stagger sextillions of infidels." So awesome.
This next one is just AMAZING. Oh. I love it. I'll let you read it first and then I'll geek out.
"A Noiseless, Patient Spider"
A noiseless patient spider,
I mark'd where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark'd how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch'd forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself,
Ever unreeling them, ever tirelessly speeding them.
And you O my soul where you stand,
Surrounded, detached, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing, seeking the spheres to connect them,
Till the bridge you will need be form'd, till the ductile anchor hold,
Till the gossamer thread you fling catch somewhere, O my soul.
Ok. The awesome thing about this is that one of Whitman's main themes is equality and unity and the connections that keep society together and keep the country running. So this is about stretching out to find the other people your little soul filaments are going to catch on. They're not gonna connect with everyone, but you gotta keep looking until they do. And that's just kinda awesome to me. And the imagery is beautiful.
Well, yeah. That's all. I like poetry. Thanks for wastin' your time reading this. :)
<3
Saturday, January 1, 2011
A New Trip 'Round the Sun
Well hey there, 2011. I'm Melissa. Pleased to make your acquaintance.
I love the fresh excitement that comes with a new year. You're all full of lofty goals and determination to complete them. You've got a renewed zeal for life. You've got a clean slate. Who cares what happened in 2010? You don't have to let anything in the past define you anymore. This year is new. All you've done so far is pray, sleep, and take a shower. So far so good. I think that's why people started celebrating a new year in the first place. The opportunity, the optimism, the enthusiasm is something worth celebrating.
This year, I'm going to pray every day. I'm going to read my Bible everyday and study it in depth three times a week. (Maybe that's not enough, but I have to start somewhere, and I'm bad about studying.) I'm going to keep not drinking pop. I'm going to make my CFYC deadlines (at least most of the time). I'm going to post on Christ Crossed My Heart more often. I'm going to work on a book I want to have published to help girls grow in their relationships with God. I'm going to attempt to get more in shape. I'm going to finish last year's NaNo before November and complete this year's IN November before the time's up.
I'm going to be a better Christian. I'm going to be a better daughter and sister. I'm going to be a better friend. I'm going to be a better writer. I'm gonna be better.
Let's make this the best trip around the sun yet. Happy New Year, lovelies.
<3
I love the fresh excitement that comes with a new year. You're all full of lofty goals and determination to complete them. You've got a renewed zeal for life. You've got a clean slate. Who cares what happened in 2010? You don't have to let anything in the past define you anymore. This year is new. All you've done so far is pray, sleep, and take a shower. So far so good. I think that's why people started celebrating a new year in the first place. The opportunity, the optimism, the enthusiasm is something worth celebrating.
This year, I'm going to pray every day. I'm going to read my Bible everyday and study it in depth three times a week. (Maybe that's not enough, but I have to start somewhere, and I'm bad about studying.) I'm going to keep not drinking pop. I'm going to make my CFYC deadlines (at least most of the time). I'm going to post on Christ Crossed My Heart more often. I'm going to work on a book I want to have published to help girls grow in their relationships with God. I'm going to attempt to get more in shape. I'm going to finish last year's NaNo before November and complete this year's IN November before the time's up.
I'm going to be a better Christian. I'm going to be a better daughter and sister. I'm going to be a better friend. I'm going to be a better writer. I'm gonna be better.
Let's make this the best trip around the sun yet. Happy New Year, lovelies.
<3
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