99 Items or Less

... And by items, I mean words. :)

In Creative Writing this week we've been working on flash fiction--a complete story in 99 words or less. Flash fictions have static characters (there's not enough time for them to change) but your perception of the character is supposed to change, usually in a surprise twist. I'm rather proud of mine. So I think I'll share them.


I'll Never Understand Women
“She left me. Throw a couple a’ punches and she walks away. I just don’t get it.”
Judging by his speechlessness, his friend didn’t either.
“I mean, really, did I ever do her wrong? And you remember that time Vince tried to beat her up? What’d I say? ‘Nobody beats up my woman but me.’ That’s exactly what I said, idn’t it? Idn’t it?”
Sympathizing silence.
“I know it. You’re a good friend, George. Guess it’s just you and me now. Gimme another round.”
Billy hugged the stuffed tiger and poured himself another cup of orange soda.

Hahaha. Loosely inspired by Calvin and Hobbes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not With a Bang, But a Whimper
The archaeologists rummaged through the rubble, sifting through a civilization that had fallen into ruin centuries earlier. The dig had thus far been disappointing; evidently, this society had not much cared for written records.
“Hey! Dave, come look at this,” one called from his respective place in the site. “I think I found something!”
There were only a few pages left inside the bound cover of the book, and it was amazing that even they had survived.
“What’s it say?”
He brushed stray dirt and rocks from the binding.
“Twilight.”

This one was inspired by my enduring fear that our civilization will fall and all they will find is the Twilight Saga, and they'll judge our entire civilization by it. If you've talked to me for any length of time I'm sure you've heard me rant about that before, so I won't get started. I will say that the title is a reference to T.S. Eliot's "The Hollow Men," and that particular quote describes the way in which the world ends: "Not with a bang, but a whimper." I feel like if the world ended on Twilight... that'd be a pretty whimpery way to go.

Aaaannnddd my explanation of my story was successfully longer than my story. Awesome.
That was the entertaining part of my blog post. Feel free to stop reading here unless you know what Eight Days a Week is.

Finally, on a completely unrelated note, it's Eight Days a Week. I know you're excited.



I don't actually like this song all that much, but it talks about there being a show tonight. And I am, in fact, in a show tonight. It's a murder mystery, and I play an old Irish lady who owns the Chinese restaurant in which the crime occurs. There are, sadly, no trampolines. Or fire.